How Being Selfish Can Help Everyone (#65)

Posted by on Nov 4, 2017 in Articles | 2 comments


When I think back over the best advice or tasks given to me by my awesome friends, naturopath and coaches, it always sounded like this:

  • enjoy regular visits at the Scandinavian spa
  • experience more time outdoors
  • take more time off
  • treat yourself to something special like lots of dark chocolate

In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever been told to work harder or to be harder on myself; it’s been just the opposite: to take great care of myself and build more enjoyment into my life.

I’ve seen the positive results when I listen to this advice; I understand how everything becomes easier and lighter.

And that’s what I want for you. I want you to discover just how awesome it can be when you regularly give to yourself.

Read on to see why this is so important, why it’s not selfish to take care of #1, and how gifting yourself helps everyone.

When I first started listening to the great advice I was receiving, it seemed too good to be true. You mean I really can relax and enjoy myself without negative repercussions?

After all of my self-talk about how much I had to do and how exhausted I was, it just didn’t stack up. How could it be true that I could goof off and be happy when so much depended on me? Was it really that easy? I mean, just follow through with the advice and do it?

My mind wanted to slip into the worries of what might happen if I did fully renew myself. ‘’They’d frown on me at work if I take more time off’ (God forbid that I might have lost a job that stressed me out), or ‘that’s so selfish, I should spend that time helping so-and-so instead’, or ‘the house will be a disaster when I get back’ (which sometimes played out until I let go of that old belief), or my favorite: ‘no one else can do it as well as me so I have to do it all’ (and I wondered why I felt unsupported!).

Little by little, however, I started to follow through with the good advice I was receiving and allow myself to let go of the disaster film that I used to hold in my expectations. As I did so, I felt more alive and the fears gave way to freedom and trust in a life that’s grounded in more support, ease and happiness.

I used to think that I had to do a bunch of busy things, most of which I didn’t like. That would keep everyone happy, right? Now I know instead to focus on what I need and enjoy, and in the end it lifts everyone up.

Any fears of being selfish or feeling guilty are inner shadows. If you’re reading this article, you’ve probably overcompensated in the opposite direction and you consistently put others ahead of your own needs. If that’s the case, embracing the ‘selfish’ part of you is exactly what you need to do.

Whenever I notice that I’m forgetting to take care of myself, I either take the action steps to get back on track, or I ask for help so that I can break through my own resistance.

Here are some of the ways that giving to yourself helps others as well as yourself:

  • When you give from renewal you are more efficient and able to help others; giving from depletion just wears you down further.
  • You are a role model just by being you. What kind of a role model do you want to be?
  • A primary energetic principle is that what you’re giving to yourself you’ll see reflected in others. What you don’t give to yourself…well you’ll see that reflected in others too.
  • We live in a matrix or web of energy; we are all connected and so each person’s state of being affects the whole. As you allow yourself more freedom and abundance, you’re lifting the possibilities for everyone.

So the next time you’re wondering if you’re worth it…worth the night out, the premium support package, the deluxe edition, the extra long vacation…just say YES!

In the end, we’ll all thank you. 🙂

Until next time,

Live Deeply,TM




  1. YES!

    • Yes to your yes Christine 🙂